Coping With Pain

Physical pain can be so much more than a headache or body ache, it can be debilitating and life altering. When we don't feel well in our body it affects us on so many different life domains. When we hurt, our personal, work and home lives all suffer. It is hard to find the energy to take on any task, let alone even engage in our personal needs. I understand and even personally recognize how not feeling well physically impacts every aspect of our life...and especially our mental well being. 

There is such a correlation between body pain, migraines/headaches, digestive problems, immune system functioning, chronic health issues, etc. and the impact on depression, anxiety and other emotional/behavioral functions. As we cope with and navigate trauma our body can hold on to the emotions in a physical manner, triggering a variety of physical health symptoms that have an emotional source. 

When managing chronic health issues it can even feel traumatizing and like you are fighting an up hill battle. Our mental health and physical health are highly intertwined and can trigger us in a variety of ways. Sometimes the struggle is that we don't see the connection.

It can feel beyond daunting and out of control to deal with somatic (body) pain and symptoms. As difficult as it is to believe, there is help from the symptoms. Seeking therapy and processing underlying emotions can be helpful. Addressing and confronting anger at our own body opens up the ability to move forward. It might sound strange to hold anger at our own body, but by owning it, processing it and working through it, you have the ability to decrease so much emotional and physical discomfort. Learning healthy coping tools to self soothe is a great benefit in confronting symptoms head on. 

I have found several guided meditations that I use in my practice regularly to help those holding on to various forms of pain. I have uploaded one of my favorite guided meditations called the "Light Stream" already on my website.  

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can also be an out of the box tool in moving through physical pain, decreasing fear of the symptoms and building control over the pain.

By increasing activity in mindfulness skills we can increase our ability to feel in control of our situation and even be more grounded and present. When using relaxation skills we teach our body how to self soothe and de-escalate. Progressive muscle relaxation is an excellent tool in training our muscles to relax under our own gentle command. Use of deep breathing is another extremely helpful way to self regulate and calm the mind/body connection. 

As frustrating as pain can be, there is hope. There are a variety of skills we can use and many professionals who can help us cope with the emotional burden of pain. Please do not be afraid to reach out and address those underlying causes of pain. There is hope and there is help. 

Coping With Covid-19

In these stressful times it is important to remember the tools and techniques we are in control of and can use to support ourselves and our emotional well being.

How to Cope With Uncertainty...Right Now

Many people are facing mild to severe panic over the state of the world right now.  It is extremely normal to have concern, fear and even panic as things feel very out of control and strange. As human beings we like to feel  in control of our situation and current things may feel quite the opposite. In times like these where the unknown is active it is so important that we work to ground ourselves to the present and really focus on self care. 

As things have become increasingly uncertain I am hearing from so many of the people that I work with that they are facing anxiety, panic and grave concern over the present situation. Although we may not be in control at present we can do very specific things to make ourselves feel more in control, calm and soothed. 

The idea of being grounded is about being present and focused on the here and now. Although we do not know what the future holds we are very much in control of ourselves in the present or the moment. There are three different types of grounding, physical, mental and soothing grounding. Each type of grounding skill works differently, but  works on the premise of shifting or distracting your focus. Grounding skills, self care and other coping skills cannot change the issues taking place now, but can help calm temporarily. 

With physical grounding the skills involve using your body and physical senses to help you stay present and in the moment. One simple way to help stay grounded is to wash your hands and just focus on what the water feels like on your skin, notice the sensations and feelings of the water. Pick up and touch various safe objects (for example, pen, mug, remote control, keys, phone, etc.) around you and focus on how they feel in your hands, notice the size, temperature, texture and weight of each item. You can also hold on to the arms of your chair or couch and again just focus on what you feel, and notice the different sensations. It can be helpful to find a grounding object, some people find wisdom stones (we won't call them worry stones), meditation bracelets, piece of jewelry or something else you can hold to help you focus and soothe. Another form involves using your body, wiggle your toes, clench your fists or move your head back and forth gently. Progressive muscle relaxation is a wonderful technique where you work from the top of your head and move all the way to your toes by tensing and relaxing the different muscles in your body. Deep breathing is also extremely helpful in allowing yourself to de-escalate.

Mental grounding techniques use your mental focus to help you self soothe. You can start by simply just describing your immediate surroundings in great detail (say out load or to yourself everything you see around you). Play the categories game and pick a topic and name as many things under that umbrella as you can (pick a sport and name all the teams you can think of, name all the states, cities or countries, etc.). Read something brief, like the title of a book and then read it backwards. Count backwards from 100 or even say the alphabet. You can even choose a task that you do every day and describe it and every part of it in as much detail as you can. 

Soothing grounding skills are a lot like mindfulness and even use some meditation skills. An easy way to get started would be to list your favorites, maybe your favorite TV shows, foods, places to travel, really just list anything that you love. You can also try singing your favorite song or hum it to yourself. Another tool would be to say positive statements to yourself (ie. I am strong, I am powerful) or work on coming up with a positive mantra that you would want to believe (ie. This feeling is temporary, I can handle this). 

These skills are helpful for managing our stressors in the short term. There are plenty of other skills to help us distract and cope like listening to music, hearing your favorite song can help  de-escalate well. I know it may be hard to engage in our usual self care right now, but finding fun things to do at home like various art projects, gardening, exercise and so many other things can help us in the moment. 

These may be unprecedented times, but just know you are not alone. If you feel like you need someone to talk to people are here to listen. Please reach out to someone and try to use the different skills shared. 

Wishing everyone well!